


Can't Accept It

by fangirlingovercaptainsauce (fangirlingovermishacollins)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Annoyed Castiel (Supernatural), First Kiss, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Pessimistic Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingovermishacollins/pseuds/fangirlingovercaptainsauce
Summary: "You don't get it, do you? Cas, I'm worried you'll leave any day now, and I won't be able to do crap to stop it. I'm scared that Sammy and the kid are just gonna show up dead and we'll be too damn late to stop it." He paused for a moment and added, "I have too much to lose, and it's all ending real freaking soon." He shook his head. "I'm not about to ask for a fairytale ending or anything, because I'm sure as hell not getting one now.""You're losing faith in us," Cas said."You bet your ass I am, and it's so goddamn depressing, Cas."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 28





	Can't Accept It

Dean leaned against the Impala, looking up at the clear night sky while his thoughts were running through his mind at about a million miles per minute. "I'm not expecting some happily ever after, damn it." 

"What do you mean?" Cas asked, standing close to the hunter. "Are you alright, Dean?"

"Yeah, just thinking, you know? What if this is the last not-terrible thing we get before Chuck just ends it for us, and we don't even know it?" Dean sighed. "He could decide to kill you right now, without a damn warning."

"I highly doubt that will happen, Dean. You should know by now that my Father isn't about to do anything like that." Cas's eyes, almost as dark as the sky, softened and he reached out for Dean's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

"You don't get it, do you? Cas, I'm worried you'll leave any day now, and I won't be able to do crap to stop it. I'm scared that Sammy and the kid are just gonna show up dead and we'll be too damn late to stop it." He paused for a moment and added, "I have too much to lose, and it's all ending real freaking soon." He shook his head. "I'm not about to ask for a fairytale ending or anything, because I'm sure as hell not getting one now."

"You're losing faith in us," Cas said. 

"You bet your ass I am, and it's so goddamn depressing, Cas." 

Dean moved a little farther away from the angel, and the hand lingering on his shoulder fell back at Cas's side. When he looked at Cas again, he took a few steps back, because damn, Cas didn't look happy.

He was watching Dean with a mixture of concern, disbelief, anger, and frustration showing on his face. He shook his head. "How can you say that after all we've been through, Dean?"

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but Cas held up a hand, effectively shutting him up. "I was under the assumption you'd be fighting the most out of all of us, but now I see I was wrong." He looked away from the hunter and when he turned back, he seemed almost hurt, but it was hard to tell for sure. "I'm not letting you give up this easily."

Dean crossed his arms. "If we win, and that's a big freaking if, where the hell does that even leave you, Cas?"

"I'm not going anywhere and you should know that. I've proven that I'll return to you no matter what stands in our way and this is no exception."

"Well, you're an idiot then," Dean said, ignoring just how good Cas's response made him feel.

"I vastly prefer it over the doubt and resignation you currently feel. At least I'm holding out hope still." Cas frowned. He stepped closer to Dean. 

"Tell me how that works out for you, will ya?" 

That was the wrong thing to say. Cas glared at Dean, his eyes nearly black. When he spoke again, his voice alone left no room for argument. "I will. In fact, I'm looking forward to it." 

"I really hate you sometimes," Dean muttered. "Since you're so damn convinced I'm a hopeless case, tell me what I'm not seeing, Cas." 

Cas raised one eyebrow. "As you wish."

He reached out to touch Dean's forehead with two fingers.

"I didn't say show me, Cas, just tell me already," Dean said, moving away from the touch. 

"Why do you need to be so stubborn about this?" Cas sighed in an overly dramatic show of annoyance. 

Dean didn't say anything. He watched Cas smugly, knowing the angel wouldn't force anything on him. He smirked when Cas ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"Fine. Seeing as you refuse to listen to me, this appears to be the only way to get through to you." He took a few deep breaths. He held Dean's shoulder, his palm fitting over the spot where his handprint once was, and in a second, possibly less, Dean was in his bedroom at the bunker. "Are you ready now?" Cas casually asked while taking off his trench coat. "The Impala is back here as well," he added, just in case Dean was worried about that.

"Talk, Cas. Now, because I'm getting impatient and I'm just gonna walk away in a minute if you don't hurry the hell up." Dean sat down on his bed, wondering how mad Cas would get if he just fell asleep. He'd try it if the guy wasn't already close to smiting him.

"Well, I wouldn't want that to happen now," the angel said. He wasn't much shorter than Dean but he seemed to tower over the hunter in that moment. 

If he and Cas weren't in his room, Dean would have been better at paying attention, but now he was badass and in total control of their situation, and the fact that he'd partly undressed wasn't helping things, even if it was just a coat. Then there was his hair, which still looked ridiculously good while being a bit messy. The look in his eyes was intense, and damn...

Dean nodded that he was ready and paying total attention, which wasn't a total lie at least. "I'm ready, Cas. Talk to me."

The angel nodded. Then he started talking. "I'm not exactly sure how to say this, so I suppose I'll simply have to 'wing it' as you would say. We make it out of this alive, Dean. All four of us. There will be some serious injuries, although I suspect you knew that. In the end, none of that will matter. We will win." He looked right into Dean's eyes, his own eyes widening, as if begging the hunter to listen without actually begging. "After that happens, you finally confess the truth about your feelings toward me."

"You really freaking know about that? Come on," Dean complained. "And where the hell is this coming from anyway, huh?"

"Yes. I've known for years, although I've opted to stay silent on the matter. I don't want to push you to say anything yet. And you're aware of Jack's power. He can do things that we have no knowledge of at the moment. Including see what our victory is going to look like." Cas wasn't looking as annoyed with Dean as he had before, the hunter noticed. 

"So what, we have a chick flick moment and live happily ever after?" Dean asked, only partly joking. 

"When has that ever been the case for a hunter? We are happy, yes, but we still kill monsters. The difference is that we do it together." 

"You think that's a good thing? How do you know I won't die, or you won't sacrifice yourself for one of us again, Cas? We don't get 'happy.' Not in this life." Dean wasn't completely sold yet; he knew there had to be a bloody ending at some point.

"Not now. Not when Chuck is in control. But nothing will be the same once he's taken care of," Cas countered. His voice was even softer now than before. "You don't necessarily need to believe me right now. I only want to make you see that there will be something good to come out of this."

"Good, because I'm not sure I'm falling for any of this crap, and I have no idea if I ever will, Cas." 

"You're easier to read than you think, Dean, at least to me, and I know you, at the very least, like the idea." 

So maybe Dean had seriously imagined it for a minute. But things were never that easy. Why should he have expected anything different to happen? 

"You can't prove it, can you? Shut up," Dean said without any kind of challenge or heat behind his words. "Things change." He stood up, ready to leave and get a beer or two, but Cas wasn't done with him yet. All it took was a hesitant touch on his arm to keep Dean in place.

"I need to believe something will work out. So I choose to put my faith in you and me." 

The angel was closer to him now. Dean could see the blue of his eyes up close, and damn did his suit make them look even better. Dean didn't stop Cas when he leaned closer, maybe because he was somehow frozen in place or because Cas had pretty much exposed his supposedly-hidden feelings.

Either way, Dean found himself leaning in, feeling Cas start to press up against him and feeling the heat from his body. It was comforting, and being this close to the angel was natural, as if they'd been doing it for years already. "Can I-" Cas asked quietly.

"You already know the answer to that one," Dean whispered back. "Just do it already."

Cas didn't need to be told twice. He just closed the distance between them completely. The first press of their lips was indescribable-- the perfect action that conveyed Cas's hesitation, his eagerness to kiss Dean that he'd ignored for so long already, and their feelings for each other. 

While Cas had been agressive earlier, now he leaned on Dean as they kissed, like he needed it more than the hunter had. Somehow, it was like Cas was being more open with him than he ever had before, and neither of the two was speaking.

"We could have this if you just have a little hope," Cas said, sighing contentedly. "It's going to be worth the wait, Dean."

"Yeah, well we'll see about that," Dean grumbled, kissing the top of Cas's head and pulling back. "I'm still not convinced, Cas."

"One day you will be."


End file.
